Heart under Renovation

VIM - Means

2008-01-08T11:56:00.000-05:00

The vision and solid intention to obey Christ will naturally lead us to seek out and apply the means to that end. Transformation will require a solid effort on our part. When not on the spot, I can retrain my thinking by study and meditation on Christ and the teachings of the gospels. I can consciously practice the disciplines which produce appropriate fruit in my life.

What benefits have I experienced from the practice of the disciplines in the past? What disciplines are calling to me to taste them this week? Which have I never considered?

solitude
silence
prayer
meditation
study
confession
reflection
service
secrecy
frugality
fasting
community
worship
celebration
???

VIM - Intention

2007-12-26T10:08:00.000-05:00

If we are to be spiritually formed in Christ, we must understand and implement the general pattern that all effective efforts toward personal transformation must follow: appropriate vision, intention, and means.

Having the appropriate VISION does not guarantee action. I am by nature a "dreamer", and as a coach understand the role of "motivation" or INTENTION. We need to come to the place where we decide to go forward with courage.

Willard says: "Projects of personal transformation rarely succeed by accident, drift or imposition. It is choice that matters. Imagine a person wondering day after day if he is going to learn Arabic or if he is going to get married to a certain person - just waiting to see whether it would happen. That would be laughable. But many people live this way with respect to their spiritual transformation."

Today's Experiment:
Reflect upon what has blocked your intentions toward spiritual formation.

VIM - Vision

2007-12-20T09:43:00.000-05:00

If we are to be spiritually formed in Christ, we must understand and implement the general pattern that all effective efforts toward personal transformation must follow: appropriate vision, intention, and means.

Vision of Life in the Kingdom

When Jesus walked the earth He manifested the Kingdom. He showed compassion, He healed and delivered, He listened actively as others told their story, He spoke truth with grace, He manipulated the material universe (miracles). He lived out of a place completely different from this planet.

So must we. Developing the needed vision requires that we look intently at the gospels again and again to see how he behaved and taught: to be encouraged, challenged, shocked, and little by little transformed.

Today, I will live my life IN THE KINGDOM. "Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth..."

Death to Self - Scary or Not Really???

2007-12-05T09:02:00.000-05:00

I invite you to join me in going further with the exercise we began last week. Quiet yourself and ponder your way through Psalm 23:4-6, somewhat as indicated below.

Because I'm beginning to believe that the Lord really is my Shepherd, I'm not quite as uneasy facing shadowy places in life. This is the death to self area that was initially such a source of fear for me. All things die. Death is part of life, and in the Christian context: No death = no resurrection.

At times. I actually have no fear of anything. I see God's hand guiding and comforting me through each detail (v.4). In those dramatic moments when I face those who oppose me, dislike me, or just plain annoy me, I find God behind me, pouring love into me, giving me just what I need. Actually, what I need overflows! Now and then I even offer some of that overflow to my enemy (v.5). I'm really looking forward to some "overflow" days and the delight of blessing those who have offended, and hurt me.

Each day I find goodness and love occurring in the oddest places. Could that be because I no longer demand it and expect it from others? Could this be a byproduct of my new focus on "being", rather than "doing"? I'm content to hang out with Jesus all day long. Whatever He's up to, I want to tag along. Is there a better place to be?

What if the Lord were really my Shepherd?

2007-11-26T10:54:00.000-05:00

Here's a great exercise for the week. Why not join me and let me know if this is useful to you.

Quiet yourself and try to truly believe the ideas in Psalm 23:1-3. Picture this sheep who is surrounded by green pastures yet isn't on his feet munching away. This sheep is so full and satisfied that he contentedly lies down without even needing a bite. Move through the verses in a way such as this (fill in the blanks from the details of your life).

Lord, you really are my Shepherd today. Because of that, I really do have everything I need, even when it comes to _____________________. Lord, you will provide me with green pastures, even though I may not recognize them at first. I may think that what I need is missing, but it will be there. I'll figure that out faster if I rest (lie down) in God. The still waters are there for me to drink from any minute I need them. In certain events today, such as ____________________, I may need them frequently.
God, you are restoring my broken soul today. It is healthier than ever. When I become confused today, YOU will guide me in the right path. Again, I may not recognize it until later, but I can trust God's name, God's presence, and God's power in my life today.

Convergence: Death, Grieving,... and more

2007-11-22T13:07:00.000-05:00

I have been amazed at the congruity and congruence of my Emotional Intelligence Training, my personal reflection and spiritual exercices, and my times in therapy with a psychologist.
I just finished reading "Tuesdays with Morrie". It's all about death being an integral part of life. Last week the theme seemed to revolve around Death and Grieving. I've even reviewed Kubla-Ross's Five Stages of Grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Despair, Acceptance. The psychologist suggested it might be helpful to lists those things that were but are "no longer"... and those things which might have been but "will no longer".
As I have been thinking about this exercice, another thought has become invasive. The New Testament is founded on Death, and Resurrection. Jesus taught that a kernel of wheat needs to die before a new plant is born. Paul said: "Old things have "passed away"; all things have become new.!"... New life comes only from death. This is the New Testament paradox.
This being the case, I need to respect the grieving process, but add a column to my reflections. What is the new "life" that God plans to bring out of this death. What "Winds of Hope" will God cause to blow through my spirit and I process my grief, and wait for "new hope"?

Personal Application or (Mis)application??

2007-11-15T11:22:00.001-05:00

In dealing with some of the good and bad days of this period of transition, I have really needed God to speak. Fortunately, He has been doing so: through several close friends, readers of this blog, a psychologist, my mentor, my spiritual father, my little church (St-Arbucks), and my family.
As I asked God to speak through Psalm 78, I was particularly impacted by verses 70 to 72. Here is my personalized reading or misreading of these verses. Please wade in with your comments.

He chose his servant David - God's choice and call must stand out through all that transpires.
and took him for the sheep pens; from tending the sheep - he took me from The Salvation Army where I was caring for the leaders around me - coaching, listening, weeping with, and rejoicing with.
He brought him to be the shepherd of his people Jacob, of Israel his inheritance - where once a particular flock was my place of learning, God has now called me to a higher calling - the care of his inheritance, his whole people. Not one local church, not one denomination, but the whole Church. There is a move from caring for to leading. I have lead from position for 30 years, now I must lead from influence. This could be a challenging shift.
And David shepherded them with integrity of heart - This blog exists because of the importance of heart renovation. My participation in "Emotional Intelligence" training, my personal walk with the Lord, my times with a psychologist... all are directing me to appropriate care for and guarding of my own heart. If I am to lead it must be with heart integrity.
With skillful hands he led them - The order is important here. First the heart, then the skills. What are the skills I have mastered or am working towards mastery of? What are the particular gifts and graces that God has deposited in my life? Coaching, teaching, preaching, prophecy, compassion, leadership, language skills (French and English), computer skills, a learner. I'm pretty damned talented.

Restoration

2007-11-12T10:44:00.001-05:00

One of declarations made at the Fresh Fire Conference this weekend was that 2008 would be a year of Restoration. On Sunday, at Destiny Church, there was an intivation for prayer for those who wanted to claim and be released into this restoration.

As I ministered in prayer, I experience an unusually strong annointing and liberty. Something has changed. The atmosphere? Destiny Church?? Me??? All of the above????

What a great time to be living, and watching Jesus restore to his children.

Self-forgiveness

2007-11-07T16:31:00.000-05:00

In the training prepared on Emotional Intelligence used by Option Espoir, the section on Forgiving Self comes before the section on Forgiving Others. Somehow, the reverse order works better for me, because forgiving myself and agreeing to accept the fact that I might have to make allowances for myself, or ever be "gracious " towards myself comes very hard. I guess that's why the exercise is such and important one. Below is my re-working of the statement designed by Sylvain Nantel (Option Espoir).

I have every right not to forgive myself for the choices I've made (name the individual choices here). I'd have every right to never forgive myself. However, I choose to courageously accept the consequences of my choices, and to take the path of forgiveness toward myself. I will believe that there is a better life for me in the future, and that I am not a prisoner of past choices.

Anyone else find "self-forgiveness" a challenge?

An exercice in Forgiveness

2007-11-07T12:09:00.000-05:00

It has been interesting as I have tried to move forward how important forgiveness is in the process. The following statement is adapted from material on Emotional Intelligence prepared by Sylvain Nantel (Gestion Optimale, Option Espoir).

I have every right and reason not to forgive ______. I'd be right not to forgive them for a very long time. However out of love and respect for myself I choose the path of forgiveness. I am progressing at forgiving ___________ the pain he has caused me, and I courageously accept the negative consequences this his actions have brought about in my life.

I renounce _______________ (name the negative feelings individually) toward ________ and choose to accept his for what he is. (He is what his is, just as I am what I am!) I choose not to allow further damage from his ___________ (name the offending behaviours: eg. lying, cheating, hyporcrisy, manipulation, cowardice, political agenda, pyschological and spiritual abuse, blackmail, etc).

Any comments or reactions to this formulaic approach? At the moment, it seems to be helpful for me.

Tomorrow I'll post a similar exercice in Self-Forgiveness.

Interplay of Will, Thoughts and Feelings

2007-10-09T12:37:00.001-04:00

Today I have been reflecting about the interplay of will, and thoughts and feelings. For the Jew, the seat of all three was the heart. What state does my heart find itself in today? "The person with the well-kept heart is a person who is prepared for and capable of responding to the situations of life in ways that are good and right."

"When I think, I must do this, I've moved beyond feeling to choice (will). I have thought about this for a long time, and I know I will feel regret if I don't do this. These three components of will, thought and feeling are so closely intertwined that we may not be able to differentiate among them."

Questions for examination:

What sort of God is so generous as to share with persons the capacity to originate things and events, to exercise freedom and creativity?
What sort of God allows humans to move outside his influence with power to do what is good or evil?

Retuning

2007-09-18T10:21:00.001-04:00

Chapter 4: If I had been around in New Testament times and had to apply for a job, I think I have all the qualification to make an excellent Pharisee. God is interested in "Internal Transformation", but it is so much easier to work on "External manifestation". Work on spiritual disciplines or spiritual formation can so quickly degenerate into legalism and works.

If we were saved by GRACE, and GRACE alone, why would continuation in that work of God require anything but GRACE. Trying hard defeats the purpose. We are to co-operate with God and his Spirit – but it is and must remain God's project. God WILL work in us (Phil. 1:6). "Christ IN ME is the hope of Glory".

Prayer: Loving Father, show me the next few SMALL steps of co-operation in this renovation project.

"Be still – cease from striving – and you will then know that I AM GOD"

NEXT STEPS that God has shown me:

I am to rejoice in the gift of this new path before me. This is an amazing invitation to refocus. It's a time to invite God to re-tune my heart strings.
I need to "survey" my own talk (to others and self-talk) and praise God for the "better" music produced by a finely tuned heart. Listen for the NEW music within.

Overflow of the Heart

2007-09-13T23:29:00.001-04:00

Chapter 3. Actions and words are the overflow of the heart. They indicate what is really going on inside. What overflow have I observed, and have others observed recently (tone, temper, etc.)? "Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks (Luke 6:45).

Change me on the inside! Renovate my heart! Grace me! Give me eyes to see and ears to clearly hear the overflow of my heart, and when I see what I don't like, protect me from "self-flagellation" or "self-justification", and bring me to the place where I cry out to you! Change my heart. I want to be a man through whom "justice can roll down like water, and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream" (Amos 5:24 NRSV).

Transfiguration

2007-09-13T11:47:00.001-04:00

I came, unwilling:

an anguished victim of the demon, "Fear".

I feared the loneliness,

the haunting memories,

my pain,

my shame.

Yet found HIM there –

And loneliness transfigured becomes solitude.

And I no longer fear

the dark night of the soul,

For I will find HIM there.

I came, unwilling:

An anguished victim of the demon, "Fear".

I feared the healing:

"For far too long I've lived with my infirmity,

It's easier to limp than be made whole."

Yet found HIM there –

And infirmity transfigured becomes ministry.

For I would be a healer

in this wounded, broken world.

And HE is there.

I came, unwilling:

An anguished victim of the demon, "Fear".

I feared, there would be no more hiding:

from God,

from self,

from friends.

He found me there,

And showed me love,

my self,

my sin!

His love transfigures and redeems me.

No longer must I hide from those I love

For He is here.

I go, unwilling:

For I would build three booths and tarry there

On this the mount of my transfiguration.

I hear YOU, Lord,

and I obey.

To the valley I return,

for there are others there,

who know not that their demons are undone,

and dissipate like shadows

In but one sweet, blest encounter with the Son.

For He is there.

David McCann, June 2, 1996 at conclusion of ICO experience.