In the training prepared on Emotional Intelligence used by Option Espoir, the section on Forgiving Self comes before the section on Forgiving Others. Somehow, the reverse order works better for me, because forgiving myself and agreeing to accept the fact that I might have to make allowances for myself, or ever be "gracious " towards myself comes very hard. I guess that's why the exercise is such and important one. Below is my re-working of the statement designed by Sylvain Nantel (Option Espoir).
I have every right not to forgive myself for the choices I've made (name the individual choices here). I'd have every right to never forgive myself. However, I choose to courageously accept the consequences of my choices, and to take the path of forgiveness toward myself. I will believe that there is a better life for me in the future, and that I am not a prisoner of past choices.
Anyone else find "self-forgiveness" a challenge?
5 comments:
Emotional wellness - speaking to our emotions, not listening to them.
Your premise just might be describing the human dillemma - or original sin, and especially those that really want to please God, rather than trust him. Guilty as charged (and graciously forgiven!!!).
First, let me affirm that “forgiveness” is a process. The original statements are certainly ideal, but the basic idea of “cognitive therapy” is to change the thinking and subsequently to see a change in the emotional reaction. Jesus is clear in his command to “forgive”. Many of the declarations of the New Testament amount to a type of cognitive therapy.
Consider Romans 12:2 “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
The original declaration reads:…
"I have every right not to forgive myself for the choices I've made. I'd be right never to forgive myself. However, I choose to courageously accept the consequences of my choices and to forgive myself, and believe that there is a better life for me in the future."
Sylvain Nantel, Gestion Optimale, Option Espoir
Sounds like a bad root. That might even be a word for you. Just remember that if it's a word for you, it's one for me too. WOH!
Maybe if I focus more on God forgiving me, and understanding that his judgment outweighs my own, including the ones for myself, I'd be better off.
I think the real test is knowing what to focus on, and knowing what is more important. For instance: I rather focus on the solution rather than the potential of being wrong. It's so hard to do!
I apreciate you being there as father, friend and a mentor. I need this stuff ya know! thanks again.
- SP son
P.S. This is a real conversation starter!
I think Daniel gets about the closest to my thoughts. It seems more important to bask in God's forgiveness, grace and judgement.
As I understand scripture,we are told to forgive others,as we have already been forgiven( the parable about the master and the servant that owed a debt he could never pay.
When we trust in Christ's substitutiony death, all our debts(sins) are already paid for.This applies to past ,present, and future.
The problem with self-forgivness, arises when the"Acuser"reminds us of past or present sins,thus trying to cast doubt on the all sufficiency of Christ's forgivness. First Jhon makes clear the Mechanism of dealing with present sin. WE are already justified(no record of Sin,in our account). THis self accusation is not from our Savior
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