It has been interesting as I have tried to move forward how important forgiveness is in the process. The following statement is adapted from material on Emotional Intelligence prepared by Sylvain Nantel (Gestion Optimale, Option Espoir).
I have every right and reason not to forgive ______. I'd be right not to forgive them for a very long time. However out of love and respect for myself I choose the path of forgiveness. I am progressing at forgiving ___________ the pain he has caused me, and I courageously accept the negative consequences this his actions have brought about in my life.
I renounce _______________ (name the negative feelings individually) toward ________ and choose to accept his for what he is. (He is what his is, just as I am what I am!) I choose not to allow further damage from his ___________ (name the offending behaviours: eg. lying, cheating, hyporcrisy, manipulation, cowardice, political agenda, pyschological and spiritual abuse, blackmail, etc).
Any comments or reactions to this formulaic approach? At the moment, it seems to be helpful for me.
Tomorrow I'll post a similar exercice in Self-Forgiveness.
2 comments:
Formulaic prayers have proven themselves over time. The praying of the Psalms, the Ignatian exercises, and so forth enable the individual (or group) to focus on the process rather than finding the words to express what they are trying to do. I found myself filling in the blanks appropriately as I read through the blog, without actually even setting out to do so reflectively.
Bruce
Hi Dave and others, Jay here. I lead a small group at the Renversons les Forteresses retreats and we often help people pray their forgiveness outloud to God, using a formula more or less. I believe that what is important is not the words themselves, but the completeness of the forgiveness, the willingness to release the offending party, and the willingness to accept the fact that the victim must suffer the consequences. One thing missing in the formula which we find helpful is to visit the Cross. Some people take the offending party with them, in front of the Cross in their mind, and in the presence of Christ release the offending party just as Christ purchased their release as an offender agaiinst God. Dave, it is an act of courage and faith to forgive. It is very hard work. But it is amazing what it produces in us and in others. May God strengthen you and may you sense his love for you!
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